Rape Culture.
This term is
defined as “a culture in which rape is pervasive and
normalized due to societal attitudes about gender, sex, and sexuality”.
Let the record show that I am elated that
people are coming out about this issue. Silence is toxic in circumstances like
this. I truly admire people who have opened up and trampled hovering feelings
of shame and looming judgment from those dear to them. If you want to hear
heartbreaking stories from brave people—if you want to feel all inspired and
active towards the issue, join the ranks! These people make me want to shout
from rooftops and throw confetti and sing really loud and organize one massive,
continental group hug!
Chills, every time.
However, the recent outreach to victims
of sexual violence has sparked the expected controversy, leaving young women
like me confused on where we stand.
How can one be uncertain about their
opinion of rape, you ask?
What started as an attempt to raise
awareness on a horrible reality for millions of women and men has almost become
a victim party for spiteful ex-girlfriends who are looking for a reason to join
the stampede.
(Excuse me
while I clutch the edge of my desk in an effort to not kick my screen in.)
With a human
need to label, define and categorize literally everything, this whole movement
has sparked a parade of counter-, counter-counter-, counter-counter-counter-
(and so forth) ideas. I like to think a conversation between all these ideas
might go a little something like this…
Early
Feminists: “Hey, shouldn't women be just as important to society as men? We
should be allowed to vote and own stuff too”.
HR: “Hmmm
yeah that’s cute, how about we let you vote and give you the right to own some
stuff in an attempt to quiet you down and make you feel victorious enough not
to notice little micro-aggressions that will follow women around for the next
couple hundred years?”
Early Feminists:
“Oh, okay. That’s good for now, I guess.”
HR (to self):
“Disaster averted!”
Second-wave
Feminists: “Look it’s cool that we can vote and everything, but what use is
that right if the people in power don’t really do anything for us?”
HR: “What do
you mean?”
Second-wave
Feminists: “Well, the domestic thing is getting boring and repetitive… and we
seem to be facing some prejudice in the workplace. We can’t seem to get
anything outside of schools and hospitals. Even then, we are not paid the same
amount as men. And what are we to do about pregnancy and our careers? It’s not
like men can carry children. The whole ‘second sex’ idea is getting old.”
HR: “Alright.
Here’s some birth control, and let’s plop a couple female bottoms down in
Congress, or whatever. I guess we’ll give you equal pay, too.”
Second-wave
Feminists: “And what about the whole ‘women-as-sex-objects’ and ‘chauvinist-exploitation’
issue? We should be allowed to be seen for all our potential, not just for sex.”
HR: “One
thing at a time. You want to be taken seriously, right?”
Second-wave
Feminists: *Scowl*
HR: “Fine.
Marital rape is illegal now.”
Third-wave
Feminists: “Hey, umm we’re super glad about all that, don’t get us wrong but…”
HR: “What now?”
Black
Feminists: “You forgot about us.”
Third-wave
Feminists: “Well all that stuff only focuses on a small group of women, and a
small group of issues. Is there anything that can be done about the archaic
media-portrayal and the language used to talk about us?”
HR: “…what?”
Third-wave
Feminists: “For starters, words like ‘slut’ and ‘whore’ are really degrading. Also, we
find this binary gender-identity thing very constricting, and—“
HR: “What am
I supposed to do about that? You have equal pay *ahem* mostly, and we let you
do what you want with your body as long as it doesn't challenge our personal
ideas of what a women is supposed to be, based on the standard family model.
Sure, there might be a few iffy laws here and there, but don’t push too hard.
You’re asking too much.”
Third-wave
Feminists: “Asking too much? Disregarding the anti-feminist undercurrent going
on here—“
Anti-Feminists:
“Hey…”
Third-wave
Feminists: “—there are still some big problems. Namely, issues with sexual
identity and consent. We really don’t feel respected. A ton of our girls are
starving themselves and way too many are physically violated. We think this is
directly related to the male-dominant mentality we've been living in, where a
sense of entitlement supersedes basic human rights.”
Anti-Feminists:
“So now you’re blaming men for all your problems?”
Early
Feminists: “Well…”
Second-wave
Feminists: “We aren't raping and bullying ourselves.”
Third-wave
Feminists: “Well now we are, because we've been forced into this
male-fabricated model of what a woman is, how she should dress, how she should
act, what she can and can’t say…”
Black
Feminist: “Imagine throwing ethnicity on top of that.”
Anti-Feminist:
“Don’t make this a race thing.”
Annoying
Facebook Commenter: “Feminists are so stupid; they should die.”
HR: “Woah
woah woah. Third-wave, I thought you wanted to be equal to men. I think some
people might start to feel put-down by that kind of talk.”
Third-wave Feminists:
“Sorry. Just trying to move forwards without disappointing our mothers.”
Anti-Feminists:
“These girlies are out of their minds... probably lesbians, too. Look at that
haircut.”
Radical
Feminists: “That is degrading my self-worth. Men are all the same.”
HR: “Hush.
Ladies, what do you propose we do?”
Radical
Feminists: “Destroy the Patriarchy!”
HR: *Facepalm*
Anti-Feminists:
“I TOLD you they were irrational, extremist dykes!!! Probably on their periods.
*Scoffs* Women.”
6-year-old
girl: “What’s ‘dyke’ mean?”
Men: “Umm
yeah we don’t exactly agree with that.”
Third-wave
Feminists: “SO not okay.”
Second-wave
Feminists: “Calm down, Radical. People are going to think you’re some kind of
fanatic.”
Radical
Feminists: “Well don’t you think we should be given some advantage over them? They've been domineering for thousands of years!”
Men: “Hey,
we inherited this issue just like you did. No one is trying to hurt you.”
Standpoint
Feminist: “Maybe not the good guys like you, but there are people out there who aren't so good. A 13-year-old down the block just committed suicide for
incessant slut-shaming at school. One story is worse than the next, and it’s
happening all around the world.”
Black
Feminists: “It’s happening right here, too.”
HR: “Well
what should we do about that?”
Third-wave
Feminists: “I don’t know, like, raise awareness and stuff?”
Anti-Feminists:
“Ehh, you don’t know what you want.”
Early
Feminists: “Votes for women!”
Second-wave
Feminists: “Equal employment opportunities!”
Third-wave
Feminists: “Respect from our peers!”
Standpoint
Feminists: “International freedoms!”
Black
Feminists: “Unity!”
Radical
Feminists: “We want to be in charge for once!”
Annoying
Facebook Commenter: “Pbbt.”
Tumblr Feminists: “Jail time for eyeball groping!”
ALL: “What!?”
Tumblr Feminists: *Sips Starbucks* “Ugh men are such pigs! I
know this girl who is friends with this guy whose sister has a friend who got
raped at a concert.”
6-year-old girl: “What’s ‘rape’ mean?”
Second-wave Feminists: “That’s terrible!”
Third-wave Feminists: “This is what we’re talking about!”
Men: “You can’t blame that one event on all men ever.”
Radical Feminists: “That remains to be seen. What happened,
Tumblr?”
Tumblr Feminists: “Well apparently they were just drinking and
having a good time and stuff, and she went to the bathroom with him. And she
said she wasn't really sure but she gave in. But in the morning, she totally regretted
it, though.”
Radical Feminists: “Well, that’s not cool, but…”
HR: “That’s
not rape.”
Anti-Feminists:
“Fucking women, man.”
HR: “Watch
your language. Man, I’d hate to be a girl growing up these days.”
Third-wave
Feminists: “You’re giving us a bad name, Tumblr.”
Tumblr: “Who
are you to tell me what is and isn't rape! You don’t know my story! I decide if
it’s rape or not!”
Men: “Well,
did the girl say no?”
Tumblr: “She shouldn't have to!”
Third-wave: “Well
it would be nice if he had asked, but isn't it up to the girl to stop it if it
goes too far?”
Anti-Feminists:
“What was the skank wearing? She was probably asking for it.”
Tumblr &
Radical: *Furious sputtering*
Annoying
Facebook Commenter: “TROLOLOLOL.”
HR: “Men
should ask, but…”
Men: “Well
if she doesn't say anything, how are we supposed to know?”
HR: “We can’t
follow everyone around all the time, opening bedroom doors, asking, ‘everything
okay in here?’ That’s an invasion of privacy.”
Men: “If
girls don’t speak up until after it’s too late, some young boys who just didn't know better could get in a lot of trouble… Not everyone means harm.”
Third-wave: “I
agree. But I think maybe the problem is more in the mentality. Tumblr gave us
that one case. What about—“
Tumblr: “Well
I get cat-called sometimes!”
ALL: “…”
Tumblr: “…That’s
like verbal rape, right?”
Actual Rape
Victim: “Okay no. Getting whistled at in the street, and getting pinned and
beaten before forced penetration is really not the same thing.”
Second-wave:
“Different ballpark.”
Anti-feminists:
“How often does that actually happen?”
Third-wave: “Hard
to say. There’s so much shame wrapped around this issue.”
Tumblr: “Yeaah!
And there shouldn't be.”
Standpoint
Feminists: “There are bigger issues than catcalling and drunk hookups.”
HR: “Agreed.
But telling stories of rape where they do not occur does not help the
situation. It makes a culture of victims.”
Actual Rape
Victim: “It’s insulting. It trivializes the real thing that real people go
through. It’s not a game.”
Third-wave: “We’re trying to
strengthen, not weaken our image.
Radical Feminist: “Why is it always about
the image?”
Standpoint Feminists: “Do you realize
the average age of female prostitutes worldwide is 14? 14!!!”
6-year-old: “I’m turning 7 on Tuesday.”
Seconds-wave (to Standpoint): “…Really?”
Anti-Feminists: “You are all spoiled.”
Men: “Maybe you ladies don’t realize
how good you have it…”
Tumblr & Radical: “Typical
response from a man.”
Men: “No, listen. A hundred years
ago, you couldn't even vote. Look how far you've come. No, it’s not perfect,
but maybe you should focus on real, tangible problems instead of exaggerating for
pity.”
HR: “If you want to appear stronger,
act like it.”
Third-wave: “We could still use a
little help... I agree that things are better now than they were before, but the point isn't to compare conditions for women now to those of women before. It's about looking at our situation TODAY next to that of men TODAY. That's what it's always been about. We want to be equal to me. And so far, we've been way behind, and it wasn't our choice.”
HR: “Ok. We shall raise the age of
consent and we’ll have Dove and Always churn out a couple commercials.”
Third-wave: “...I guess that’s good.”
Post-Feminist: “There, now we've done
everything we've set out to do.”
Black Feminist: "Have we?"
HR: “We can’t change peoples’
thoughts. Now all we have to do is wait for those videos to get enough likes.”
Tumblr: “Yaaaay! Can’t wait to post that
commercial! #Equal rights!”
ALL: *Double Face Palm*
FIN
Hope you enjoy! Leave me your thoughts.
